Home Coming!!!~

It has been three years since the day I left my hometown KK to Kuching, changes happened and I couldn't recognize even myself at some point. But well, it has all gone and am ready to start the new chapter of my life. But before I move on, I would like to share at here, what I had been through throughout the years.

I was hoping for a uni life that's with excitement and surprise, to add more colors to my youth time. Getting to know people that I don't usually meet and involve in activities that enrich my days even more. Before I depart, i had my birthday wish: I want a boyfriend, and he's gonna be my husband!

That's a declaration i supposed, and yeah i got a boyfriend within a month when i started my degree. Oh well, it wasn't official yet, not technically, but practically. It turned official with FB's relationship status update after 6 months. Those were the sweet days, when i spent my time with my charming prince, day in and out, at library and cafe and in church. It lasted for over a year before he left for Intel.. Long distance dating for another year before we finally realize we're not compatible to each other. Not if it's because there were too many negative thoughts at that time or just simply admit the fact that we don't suit each other.

I didn't had a hard time to overcome the breakup, or I actually did but not realizing it at all? During the year when i was "taken but bf not around", I traveled with friends to various spots for fun. Swimming is my favorite and singing with another friend at night. Time flies, without me notice it.

I proceed with my life normally, going out with friends and less guard of me with boys. At first is like brother and sister, then slowly more contact and often alone with him... Eventually something irreversible happened and thought it could be fun to have some spice for my last few months of uni life. Hence I decided to ignore all the teachings unto me, and began my days without God.

The funny part of both guys is that, they asked me to be their gf on their birthday, as their present. I thought I could be a blessing for them, as much as i care for them, i wish the best for them.. So I begin to get back on track, for a promising future. However, i was way too naive and simple-minded which i forgotten he's a satanist, whom i never expected to meet in my life.

I realized that he has been holding back on me in many aspect, it could be some tiny petty matter but it's gonna turn wild when i insist to do it my way. Soon I realize that am not only failed my God but also my life, which i owe to my mum and my self. Am waking up from deep sleep.

A decision has to be made and certain things got to be reset. Getting out of the mud is not easy especially when it concern about a person's feeling, what more to say he has been a dear friend to me for past 2 years. I seek for balance between him and God but I found none. So I can only be selfish and neglect him in my new life, while praying for God to have mercy on him.

Am now experiencing a break through, not of any simple one but for the new chapter of my life. I desire for a better life, with abundant blessing and overflowing prosperity, that I can share with others. For He has given His words, if we are to obey and trust Him, He will bless us for more than our imagination.

Daddy, here i am, back at home~ <3 p="">

Why We Work

Not with eyeservice, as men-pleasures, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. - Ephesians 6:6

In the late 1660s, Sir Christopher Wren was  commissioned to re-design St. Paul's Cathedral in London. According to legend, one day he visited the construction site of this great edifice and was unrecognised by the workers. Wren walked about the site, asking several of the men what they were doing. One worker replied, "I am cutting a piece of stone." A second worker responded, "I'm earning five shillings two pence a day." A  third, however, had a different perspective: "I am helping Christopher Wren build a magnificent cathedral to glory of God." What a contrast in the attitude and motivation of tat worker!

Why we do what we do is extremely important, particularly when it comes to our working lives and careers. That's why Paul challenged the Ephesians to do their work, "not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men".

If we do our work merely to earn a paycheck or satisfy a supervisor, we will fall short of the highest motivation - doing our best as evidence of our devotion to God. So, why do we work? As that laborer told Wren, we work "to the glory of God."

Be not always wanting
Some other work to do,
But gratefully perform the task
The Lord has given you. - Anon.

No matter who signs your paycheck, you are really working for God.

Ephesians 6:5-9

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just ass you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favour when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Chrst, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, whether they say are salve or free.

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in in heaven, and there is no favouritism with him.

It's a new semester, I shall study hard to glorify His name~

The New Normal

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. - Hebrews 4:15

A pastor, who was trained in trauma and grief counselling, commented that the greatest challenge for people who are hurting is often not the immediate heartache of the loss. Instead, the biggest problem is adjusting to the different kind of life that follows. What once was normal may never be normal again. So the challenge for those offering help is to assist the sufferers as they establish the "new normal". It may be a new normal that no longer includes robust heath, a treasured relationship, or a satisfying job. Or it may be living without a loved one who has been taken in death. The gravity of such losses forces us to live a different kind of life - no matter how unwelcome it may be.

When our "new normal" comes, it's easy to think no one understands how we feel. But that isn't true. Part of the reason Jesus came was to experience life among us, resulting in His present ministry: "For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin".

Our Saviour lived a perfect life, yet He also knew the pains of a broken world. He endured sorrow; He suffered agony. And He stands ready to encourage us when the dark moments of life force us to embrace a new normal.

Father, thank You that in the darkest seasons of life, 
You never abandon us. Guide us with Your never-failing presence 
through both the welcome and unwelcome changes of life.
In Jesus' name, amen.

In our desert of grief, Jesus can provide an oasis of hope. 

Hebrews 4:9-16

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. 

When I get up from the water, I'm a new born person... whatever happened in the past, doesn't matters any more, but I can move on with new strength that's given from God, live a life with His presence... I pray that I can have the wisdom to deal with my "new normal" life... I want to get back what I had with You before, be your lovely girl again~ ^^ I want to forgive whoever it is, that hurts or harmed me before, I pray that God can bless them, as they did it because they cared for me... I have nothing in return but to pray for them... 

Exploring to the whole new world for me, is excited and interesting... may You guide me in all my ways, so I don't fall or stray... 

Off-Limits

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

As a 12-year-old, I was curious about the Bible my dad was given when he retired from the paper mill. It came in a special cedar box marked The Holy Bible, and I assumed that "holy" meant it was off-limits to me. But still I peered inside. In the centre of the Bible was a picture of Jesus hanging on the cross, along with the words of John 3:16. There was also a see-through red film covering the page, which I assumed meant He bled and died.

Occasionally, when no one else was looking, I would gently pull the holy Book off the shelf, open the box, look at the picture of Jesus on the cross, read the verse, and wonder about this Man and why He died. I wondered if His love was meant for me or if it too was off-limits.

Several years later I heard a message about how God had provided access to His love through Jesus. Romans 5:1-2 tells us: "We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand." I believed and received Jesus' salvation from my sin.

Aren't you thankful that the Bible and God's love aren't off-limits? Receive His forgiveness - It's meant for unholy people like you and me.

How precious is God's holy Word
Its pages every one!
They lead us to the Living Word
To Jesus, God's dear Son. 

The Bible is God's love letter to us.

Romans 5:1-8

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

It's indeed the greatest blessing I ever had from God... That I can live with hope, knowing not only I have salvation after death, but also tons of mercy and blessing when I'm still on earth...

I pray that God's mercy is enough, to last for all my loved ones... that I can bless them, when I have the ability to do so.. I pray for their safety, their health, and their life... so that they can wait, let me be the channel to bless them, so that these people can actually enjoy their life, not just work for their life, just to make a living... 

I truly believe that God's mercy is more than enough, more than what we actually deserve as a sinner... Your amazing love is what makes us worthy, that our lives no longer just about us, not for us, when Jesus paid the price for us... and You take care of all Your children... 

Daddy, I'm proud to be Your lovely princess, and I know how much You loves me too~ 

Risky Business

Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. - Luke 9:24

As the worldwide financial crisis deepened in 2010, executives of a global banking firm were investigated for deceiving their customers about the risk involved in certain investments they were selling. While promising a high rate of return, the banking firm knew that the investments were destined to fail, leaving those who purchased them with nothing.

Deceptions is nothing new. Jesus described Satan as one who "does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him... for he is a liar and the father of it". The enemy of our souls tells us, "Live only for the present," when he knows it will results in our eternal loss.

Jesus, on the other hand, did not offer His disciples a life of prosperity and ease but called them to self-sacrifice and identification with Him. After telling them that He would be killed and raised from the dead, Jesus said, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it".

There are two voices telling us where to invest our lives. It's risky business to follow the wrong one.

When you hear the Shepherd's voice
As He calls you, "Come to Me,"
In your life make Him your choice
And His faithful follower be. 

If we hold on to God's truth, we won't be trapped by Satan's lies. 

Luke 9:18-27

Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, "Who do the crowds say I am?" They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; other say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life."

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" Peter answered, "God's Messiah."

Jesus strictly warned them not to tell to anyone. And he said "The Son of Man must offer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life."

Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels.

"Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God."

Theory of Everything

For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible. - Colossians 1:16

Scientists have been looking for the "Theory of Everything." One person who thinks he found it is physicist Brian Greene, who wrote The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest for the Ultimate Theory. Greene's "string theory" is a complicated concept suggesting that as its tiniest level everything consists of combinations of vibrating strands, or strings. He has described his theory as "a framework with the capacity to explain every fundamental feature upon which the world is constructed."

Over the years, thinkers from Newton to Einstein to Hawking to Greene have spent the greater portion of their lives trying to figure out how the universe works - and they have proposed fascinating theories.

In reality, for any theory to explain everything in the universe adequately it must begin and end with God. "All things... visible and invisible" have their origin in Him and exist for His glory. The first few verses of John's gospel tell us that our Lord created the universe - and that without His hand of creation nothing would exist.

That's why when we consider the world and everything in it, we can exclaim with Isaiah: "The whole earth is full of His glory!". Praise His holy name!

Our God has fashioned earth and sky, 
Sun, moon, and stars beyond compare;
His workmanship we can't deny - 
His fingerprints are everywhere. - Seals

All creation is an outstretched finger pointing towards God.


John 1:1-13

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his on did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

Life-Changing Choices

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. - Isaiah 41:10

Champion athlete Eric Liddell's decision not to run on Sunday in the 1924 Olympic Games was not difficult because of his deep belief that the Lord's Day was for worship and rest.

A more agonizing dilemma had come a year earlier when Eric was asked to speak about his faith in Christ to a group of coal miners. Liddell said of his struggle: "My whole life had been one of keeping out of public duties but the leading of Christ seemed now to be in the opposite direction, and I shrank from going forward. At this time I finally decided to put it all on Christ - after all if He called me to do it, then He would have to supply the necessary power. In going forward the power was given me."

The day after agreeing to publicly share his faith, Eric received a letter from his sister, Jenny, in China. Written weeks before, it ended with this verse of Scripture: "Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand".

Every call from God is an opportunity for us to say "Yes," trusting His strength and not our own.

Lord, I'm fearful sometimes when You ask me
to do something out of my comfort zone. 
Help me to remember that as I step out in faith, 
You will provide the power to obey. 

He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 

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Isaiah 41:8-14

"But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, You descendants of Abraham my friend, I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I sad, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

"All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you," declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. 

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Thanks Lord, thank you for Holy Spirit you have given to me... Thank you lord... 

it was sad that being too naive, not knowing anything, either things that i suppose to know or not... is that a way putting down others, just to show that they are right, when they are not?

Thank you Lord for letting me to see that it's not my fault, neither is my war... You reminded me that it's yours to revenge, and showing me that I do not need to prove myself to them.. What's the point of proving myself to someone that don't cares or loves me? Even if I should do better, it should be for the sake of those who cares for me, don't disappoint them...

Your words has been a great courage to me, thank you Lord... You are my God... It's good to know that I have the greatest support in the world behind me, a support that will not let me fall... regardless of the situation, I believe God will let me have access to things that I should know of, and close the door to things that I do not need to know of. 

Lord I put everything unto your mighty hand, I am willing to surrender everything to you... Thank you Lord for Your mercy on me, reminds me of what it could be if i follow my fleshy will... I might be successful but i might forget God... tho i want to be richer, but that means i will try to solve everything on my own... which i left no rooms for God to work on... Thank God that actually showing me such dangerous consequences if i make that choice...

Daddy I love you.. once again i'm thankful for everything you had given to me...